How many times have you heard “It runs in our family” as an explanation for disease, behaviors, luck, or even divorce or weight?

We may have certain predispositions, genetic markers, or tendencies that come from our genes, but we have much more control over our life, health, and relationships than most realize.

To take an evolutionary leap and stop a generational pattern in its tracks takes a complex recipe that in part includes intention, discipline, gumption, and a can-do attitude.

Take Narcissism for instance. Perhaps you were a setup for attracting such a person. You might have been raised to be the enabler, the people-pleasing one-dimensional character that takes care of the Narcissistic parent’s every demand. That may have been conditioned into you, but you can wash and ring it out of you.

While it takes a whole lot of self-awareness, insight, and reflection, change is possible and probable when you get tired of the same dance when the narcissist shows up — saying just the right things, dressed up as the love bomber bearing sweet words and gestures — triggering the people pleaser in you.

The Recipe for Change:

  • Learn to say no
  • Listen to your gut
  • Use discernment
  • Ask questions
  • Love yourself
  • Trust your instincts and intuition
  • Learn the fine art of discipline and consistency

The payoff is a generational leap into better emotional and physical health. I know this to be true from experience.

My father said diabetes and “fat” runs in our family. My mother doubled down and said that “fat butts” run in the women in our family. What they did not add was that alcoholism, codependency, and narcissistic tendencies also run in the family. Those “tendencies” may have knocked, but I did not let any of these “predestined” attributes through the door.

Different behaviors, attitudes, actions, and reactions can change the course of the generational ship of your family line. You can be the change.

As always, I am here for you.

Article originally posted on Medium.com